Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Creating Moments and Enjoying Them

This morning I had a conversation with a friend. Unlike us, he and his boyfriend are not openly gays. He told me that when the time comes, he might marry a girl, for the sake of his parents.

Our conversation is as followed:
H : Hey, you said couple days ago that you were gonna marry a girl if your parents ask you to because you haven't told your parents, and you will not tell them that you are gay. Humor me then, why are you having a relationship with a guy now?
I : Well, I hope I would be like you guys, staying together, opening a business....
H : But then, you will still marry a girl.
I : Unfortunately, yes. I love my parents more than I love myself.
H : I do understand that. But whatever you have, or will have, with your boyfriend has to be ended when you marry a girl, right? Then what's the point?
I : Who knows what comes next?
H : Nobody, there's no guarantee. But it's like you put your life on faith. (I wasn't satisfied with his answers, so I kept pushing)
I : It's complicated. But I'm not a guy who focuses on the ending. I always tell my better half to enjoy the process. So we are creating moments. We try to enjoy those moments while we still can.

Though I don't totally agree with his paradigm, because it seems to me that there's no goal to fight for and it's kinda sad for me, he got me there when he said he was creating moments. I realized that I always focused on the ending, I am the one who try to find as much certainty as I can so I forget to enjoy each and every moment. I forget to live.

Again, I am not saying that I agree with the way he lives his life but I respect him for his choices because it's impossible for me to really understand what kind of live he has. The truth is he opens my eyes to all possibilities out there. Life is not always black and white.   

I blog this as a reminder for me, and for you too, that we have to enjoy every moment we have.

As for me, I will not stop fighting to reach my dreams. But definitely, I will add more stopping stone to enjoy the process.