Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Are You Afraid?

It’s been a while that K wanted to curl his hair, but his hair is not long enough and he has his doubt for his office mates are those conservatives ones. 

About 4 or 5 months ago, I decided to curl my hair. I gave it a lot of thought for it would be a big change. And finally I did it. I was not confident about how I looked at the first days. Some friends made joke about my curly hair. Some of the jokes were harsh, even for me. I try not to listen, but I kept listening to their words and I laughed with them, pretending that I enjoyed all of the “funny” words, while doubting myself at the same time.

“You look like my auntie! LOL.”
“Those hair is messy. Were you just hit by a truck? Bahahahaha.”
“Have you combed your hair?”
“Is that pubes? ROFL.”
“Do you call that style?"

The mock didn’t stop. I heard it everywhere I went. People who had known me always had something to say, which mostly were not nice, about it or made fun of it. Sometimes I wanted to defend myself, for those who said harsh words usually had that Andy-Lau-looks, if you know what I mean.

I still hear those jokes now and then, I still hear how people say bad things toward my hair. The difference is I don’t listen to those anymore.

The thing is, we can’t please anybody. And it should not stop us for being who we are or doing what we like to do, as long as it doesn’t harm others. 

People tend not to accept what they don’t understand or what’s new to them, and it’s not our job to make them understand. It is their homework to adapt for change. You should not let people dictate how you look, how you dress, how you live your life, how you love nor be bothered of what they say about it. They will always judge, they will always laugh because of our differences, but we are not them, we don’t live their lives as they don’t live ours. 

So as I told K that Saturday morning, “If you are afraid of what people might say about you, you’ll never be who you really are.”

Monday, January 18, 2016

Words Terrorist

Hey!
How are you guys? Hope everything’s going well for all of you.

Been 18 days since new year, eh? New resolution, new spirit, new boyfriend? Hahahaha….

Looking back to 2015, I realised I was edgy, uneasy, tense, and critical. I was easily annoyed with what others did that crossed my path. I was agitated when people did the opposite of how I enjoyed this life.

I used to believe that I voiced my thought, of what I believed was the truth. I criticised others and might hurt someone in the process. I thought it was for a greater good. I was too proud to admit though it was the right thing to do, it wasn’t always good, that it didn’t always end well. Like I said, people might get hurt in the process.

With my sharp words, I tried to change what people believed. I didn’t respect their paradigms for I thought mine was better. Aside from right or wrong, for it is very subjective, every and each person has his right to own way of life. And I forgot that. I took cover behind the ‘for a greater good’ cause. The question is, whose greater good?
 
Putting it this way, I really sound like those terrorists, eh? 
And it is true. I wasn’t that different from them. I hurt people to make them believe what I believe. Not with bombs nor guns, but with my sentences. 

So yes, it is one of my resolution this year. I will keep voicing my version of truth, I will keep speaking my mind with a little change on how I do it. I have to respect that others also has their own paradigms, that they believe it to their bones. 

A fresh start then…. 

Happy Belated New Year!