Common People Questions

I was blog-walking when I found this blog, (gaykampung.blogspot.com) and one of his posts intriqued me. That he was asked by his friend to fill up a questionnaire. There are twenty something questions that I'd like to share. These questions were asked by (maybe) a straight person, who has no idea what gay is. So here we go:

When did you feel there's a change in yourself?

I refuse to call it a change. I'd rather call it "difference". Since I was a kid.

 

What is your foundation stating that you are gay?

Well, I like guys.

Have you ever had a girlfriend?

Yes.

Have you ever been hurt by a woman so that it made you afraid to fall in love with one?

As pathetic as this question    sounds, NO!

Have you ever had sex with a guy?

Really?

Have you ever tried to change yourself? By dating a girl for instance?

Yes.

Is there any difficulties finding a partner in gay world?

Do you find it easy finding a partner in "normal" world?

There's a regulation in Indonesia that forbid same sex marriage, what do you think?

I simply have no expectation on it. But it can change. People are more open minded these days. The transformation is happening, right now, this very second.

Have you ever dreamt of having kids? And how you deal with it with your gay status?

Every second. Well, I can adopt or surrogate. But I don't think I am ready to find my kids go home from school crying, telling me that they are bullied because they have two dads instead of a so-called-normal family. Maybe, I will have kids when the environment is supportive enough. Soon, I hope.

Is it correct things to do, your gay activities, since none of your family, your friends, your country is supportive and it is wrong religiously?

What activities? I work, I pray, I laugh, I eat, I go to movies as normal people do. I don't rape, I don't steal, I don't kill people. My family and my close friend support me enough. My country? We'll see.

How is your family condition? Are you coming from a broken home one?

My family is fine. My dad and mom fight like every other family. But they do love each other. They are still together.

Do your family and friends know about your being gay?

Yep. People that matters to me do.

Have you ever thought of going back to normal? Why? Why not? What have you done to accomplish it?

Going back? I don't think I've ever been normal, but if you ask me if I wanted to be normal, I did. Because I thought my mom would be happier if I were "normal".

Are you comfortable with who you are now?

100%

Is there any event that makes you gay?

No, and I don't believe there's such things. We were just born this way.

How do you feel when you look around and see your normal friends live normal lives? Don't you want to be like them?

For having kids and being accepted by society, yes, I want those privileges. But for who I am and whom I love, I think I’m doing fine.

What is your motivation in not willing to be “recovered”?

            Simple. I am not sick.

What do you want to accomplish by being gay? Do you get any satisfaction?

I don’t choose to be gay. If I asked you what you want to accomplish by being straight, you would laugh at me, because you know you don’t choose to be one.

What is your religion? Don’t you feel guilty for what you’ve done?

I am a Christian. Like I said, what have I done? By being gay? Do you feel guilty for being black? Or being Caucasian?

For me, Christianity is about love. Our savior taught us to love one another. It is the main law of Christianity. Sin and wickedness is human interpretation about what is written in the bible. Let God decides.

What do you expect from your friends when they find out about you?

            It will be nice if they accept me for who I am. But I won’t force them to.

Does family factors play part in the occurrence of gay?

            Like I said, I don’t believe that.

Do you feel comfortable enough as a gay?

            I do.

           

Is it your choice to be gay? Or don’t you want to be gay?

It ain’t a choice. I think there's nothing to do with what I want, it is about how I accept who I really am.

How do you socialize in your daily activity? Does it need to be hidden?

            Do you tell all people you meet that you are straight?

Do gay have their own community? Are you in those communities?

            I believe we do. I won’t say that I am.

What is the benefit of being gay?

This is interesting. You can see that I dress better than most straight. I’m more creative than most of them. I understand men and women more. Hahahaha…

           

Is there anybody that influence you to be gay?

            No. It is once again, not a choice.

Do you think we can cure gays?

            Can you cure healthy people?   

My Solitude

Few weeks ago, I was blogwalking and I found this Archway Test. It said that my path was quiet, with definition as followed:

You value solitude in all aspects of your life. You can spends large periods of time alone without feeling lonely. Your ideal path is one that is very still and quiet. You want to absorb everything around you without feeling overwhelmed. You seek meaning in every aspect of life. And you live very deliberately - both in action and in thought. You don't like crowds, but you do like people. You value authentic relationships, and you prefer the depth of one on one interaction. 

I thought it was right. Talking about seek meaning in every aspect of life, well it is so me. You can see in my blog here, that I tend to find a reason for everything, that every thing that happen to me is meaningful, happen for reason.  

About four weeks ago, K asked me to try a body balance class at gym. He did ask me before over and over. But you know me, I am a shy person, I don't do first time by myself, at some point. So it was Saturday and K accompanied me to join body balance class at gym where I usually work out.

Turned out I enjoyed it so much. I like the tai-chi moves, I love the yoga, I even crave for the pilates. I am in love with body balance. And linking it to the path I talked before, maybe body balance is one of my solitude. It's like I find peace in me. 

My body was so damn stiff, especially my back. My hands can't reach my feet when I bend over. Crap, let alone my feet, I can't even reach my shanks. Pathetic, ain't it? But last night, my hands touched my shins, they almost  reached my feet. Wow! Another benefit of joining body balance class.

I was embarrassed because my body was too rigid to do simple pose. But now, I don't care. I join this class so I can relax my body and my mind, so I can flex my stiff body.

K ever said this to me, "When you come into the class, there will always be someone who is so flexible, who is advance doing poses. But no worries, we will be at that point, no rush, because every and each one of us has different flexibility. It is only a matter of time."

To be honest, I don't love working out. I am not really into it. It is somehow boring for me. My mind always tries to find a way to skip gym. But I push myself so I will have a healthier and a better-look body. Now, I love going to gym, to come to my cubbyhole. Well, I still do weigh-lifting. But this body balance adds some spice to it. I will join Yoga classes soon.
 
So yes, body balance is my solitude, and it is my way of living a healthier live.

The Water Run

Hey wuddup???? Been good, no? Quite some time, huh? I've been good, we've been so well.

Today, I am in pain. No, no, not that serious pain. Weary will do justice. My legs are weary. My butt is weary. Hah.

On Sunday, I woke up at 5 after 3 hours of sleep. Having my teeth brushed, I woke up K and my closest friends. Yeah, they had a sleepover at our place. I was in fire. I was excited. Not long after, we were on our car, heading to Gelora Bung Karno. We were gonna have some run. Not an usual run, it was Water Run. A run event which was held by Fittness For Men, one of many magazinez in Indonesia, and Protect Procter *thx 威论 for the correction* and Gamble corp.

It was my first time. I didn't expect to reach finish line. But I, and K, made a target, to at least reach Bundaran Hotel Indonesia, it was approximately half of the routes. It was 8 kilometers run, so the said. It was started at Gelora Bung Karno on 7 am. So many participants, we shot each other with water guns. Water gun was in the race pack. But some did bought bigger ones.

Not expecting that I would run so much, I started with small run with the others. I jogged, I ran, and I walked. It was five of us, but then two of our friends fell behind. Not long after, I was alone, leaving K. I thought I just wanted to reach Bundaran HI sooner. My spirit was pumped. It was fun, though I was running by myself. At the first pit stop, I waited for K for a minute, but he wasn't there, so I continued alone. 20 minutes later, I reached Bundaran HI. My feet was hurt, I knew I had blister on them, but I was halfway and I wasn't really tired. So I tried not to think about it and started to have another run.

I was on my way back to Gelora Bung Karno, when I passed K and Y. I cheered them so they would run faster and caught up with me. It felt much longer when I finally reached the second pit stop. I said water run, right? There was a water tunnel, which they required us, the participants, to go through it. It was water at first, then they sprayed foam on sand bags, and then another water spray. I was looking at it, and thinking it wouldn't be any fun if I was by myself. So, I decided to wait for K and the others.

It was about 10 minutes later, K arrived. I asked him to go through that tunnel. He hesitated because he didn't wanna get wet. But then I said to him, "Hey, it is water run, we do expect to get wet, right?" So we asked the other to join us too. And it was indeed fun. We were soaking wet, full of foam. The racers were getting their picture taken. We were provided with a waterproof case for our phones. We asked one of them to take a picture for us. It was funny because he said, "Sorry, my hands are wet," as he passed. But then a nice lady took a picture for us.

After that, we continued our route, and for a minute, I and K had left the three behind. I enjoyed my moment with K. My legs started to hurt more, my blister was killing me, but I did have fun. 20 minutes later, we reached the finish line.

I am proud of myself, of us. We did challenge ourselves, and we reached over our target. It was hard, as again it was my first time, our first time. But the thing is I didn't quit, neither did K. And we conquered it, together.

I heard this quote when I was little, and I guess it was right, "Rest if you must but don't you quit." And if there is something that I could learn from this event, it will be this, "I may enjoy myself on my way to the top, but those moments are way more precious when I share them with K."

Compatibility

I'm not astrological fan. But I do enjoy them. Today I searched on Google about our compatibility. I am a Piscean Pig while K is Sagittarian Tiger. So here are what I found. 

Sagittarius and Pisces

When Sagittarius and Pisces join together in a love match, a relationship of realized dreams is formed. Sagittarius is more of a thinker and philosophizer, easily drifting around from one pursuit to the next. Pisces is more inward, involved in the shifting of their own mindscape. They are opposites in some respects, and to outsiders may seem an unlikely pair. But as their love for one another grows, they are more likely to be able to satisfy the philosophical cravings of the other and maintain a healthy relationship.

Sagittarius is outgoing and versatile, and in a relationship with Pisces often comes to the defense of their gentler partner. Pisces, in turn, gives Sagittarius subtle understanding and a place to escape from their tireless endeavors. Pisces is a Sign that, like Water, adapts easily to its surroundings; Pisces tends to focus much energy on understanding and sympathizing with their partner. They are often more patient with Sagittarius’s aloofness than other Signs. Sagittarius’s active pursuit of knowledge combines with Pisces’s gentle compassion towards others to give both partners a self-awareness that doesn’t pass into egocentricity and isn’t overly accommodating, such as Pisces alone may be.
Sagittarius and Pisces are both ruled by the Planet Jupiter. Pisces is also ruled by Neptune. Jupiter brings exploration and outreach to both Signs. Pisces is concerned with this aspect in an abstract sense; they often find themselves trying to save the world (perhaps in the form of recycling or environmentalism). Sagittarius, on the other hand, prefers to broaden their horizons through academics. Neptune is about big pictures, ideas and illusions; but it’s also involved with disillusion and fantasy. Sagittarius can help Pisces plant its feet on the ground. Jupiter works through Pisces to put a gentler touch on Sagittarius’s occasional hotheaded outbursts. 

Sagittarius is a Fire Sign and Pisces is a Water Sign. These two elements can form a great couple if they give in a little, using innate understanding of situations and people to get matters resolved. Pisces can offer Sagittarius direction and help them learn to be gentler, while Sagittarius teaches Pisces to go out and explore the world. This couple will enjoy traveling together. Pisces can be emotionally draining for the Archer at times, too much Water dampening Sagittarius’s fiery spirit. Conversely, too much Fire can boil the Water and leave Pisces steaming. Sagittarius and Pisces must use their perceptive skills to enhance the relationship, always focusing on what the other needs.
 
Sagittarius and Pisces are both Mutable Signs. Neither partner feels a need to dominate the relationship. They enjoy equality and like to see their ideas come to fruition. Pisces gets great happiness from helping Sagittarius. Sagittarius and Pisces enjoy dreaming up ideas and putting them into action. No one is preoccupied with end results; for this couple, the fun is in the journey! A lack of conflict over roles helps Sagittarius and Pisces work toward the same goals with great success.
 
What’s the best aspect of the Sagittarius-Pisces relationship? It’s that they can benefit from one another’s wisdom and at the same time get along so well together. Pisces shows Sagittarius how to empathize and care; Sagittarius teaches Pisces how to turn fantasy into reality! The ability of each to provide what the other lacks makes theirs a truly reciprocal relationship.

Tiger and Pig 

The Tiger and the Pig can make a good match, but it will require a bit of extra flexibility on both sides and a lot of mutual trust. The Pig is generally very kind, well-mannered and generous and tends to see only the best in other people; this in itself makes a relationship with this sign easier. The Tiger, too, is generally quite affable and good-spirited; however, there are certain behaviors and situations that can turn both of these signs’ good spirits into bad moods.

For the Tiger, restrictive relationships, possessive lovers and rigid expectations can be just cause to run away. Freedom and autonomy are incredibly important to the Tiger, who will do whatever it takes to ensure it retains that freedom. The Pig values connection, support and a steady home life and will very likely find the Tiger’s lone wolf character to be unsettling at best. If these two signs live together, and especially if their relationship is romantic, they will have to make sure to allow room for their differences — the Pig will have to excuse the Tiger’s roaming and the Tiger will have to offer the Pig as much support and reassurance as possible. A romantic relationship may actually be the most likely sort between these two. The Tiger is magnetically attractive, generally very sexily appealing to any of the signs. The Pig possesses its own sexy mystique and is also very much a sensualist, reveling in the simple but luxurious pleasures of food, lovemaking, even sleeping and bathing. As long as the Tiger doesn’t feel restricted by the Pig’s love of home comforts, the Tiger will be happy to play along — for a while. Inevitably, this sign’s urge to roam, explore and experience will kick in again.

As business partners, these two can create a strong company as long as their goals are aligned. Though a sensualist by nature, the Pig is far from lazy; this is a hard-working sign whose efforts will back up the Tiger’s courageous leadership and innovative ideas.

Well, believe it or not, most of what it says are true. 

* Both are taken from here.