Leap of Faith

Have you guys watched Man of Steel? You should if you haven't. Well for me, it is the best superhero movie ever!!!!!! Lol.

But really, it is good. I like the storyline, i love the plot and i crave the quotes, especially this one:
"Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust (or you can change with everything) part comes later."

It's true. I did it many times. It doesn't mean you don't have doubts when you do. The truth is you have. You have worries, you have doubts, you don't know what to do. All you rational thoughts confuse you. This is the time when you exactly have to trust your gut and go with it.

Like you know, and maybe like you have in mind, my decision to move in with my better half may sound too fast. I did have doubts at that time. I was worried things wouldn't go as we planned. But we did took a leap of faith. And in the end of the day, we trusted what we had, which was love and commitment.

When I watched Man of Steel, there was this problem I had with my better half. Indeed it was about trust. This movie reminded me that all I had to do is to take a leap of faith and the trust part will come later. It inspired me to do so. And that was what I did.

This leap-of-faith thing will give you hope. That's what the house of El believes. That's what I believe. Hope keeps you going. Keep going my friend. Keep going. You won't see your beautiful future if you stop and give up to your worries and doubts.

Again, you may not be ready for what's gonna happen. And you won't know what awaits you there. No guarantee it won't crush you. But ain't it worth it?

My Angel, Here on Earth

Time flies by. Really. It has been almost a month we have spent under one roof. For the first days, I somehow felt homesick. Well, it's my new home, but I missed my old one, where I had spent more than 11years there.

And yes, I missed my mom. Lol. I may sound like a spoiled brat. But I am really close to my mom. And not seeing her every day made me miss her. It felt weird to live in the same town but I couldn't see her every single day.

As you may know, my mom lives in Klaten, a small town where I spent my childhood. But since my sister went to Jakarta in 2004, my mom practically lives here too. It's like almost 6 months in a year she lives in Jakarta.

I dont't know but I think this is the same feeling I share with them who have left home to start a new family. Maybe this is what they feel. And I was sure I was gonna be fine. And I am.

Last week, my mom visited me. We had lunch together with my dad and my sister. When they were going home, my mom kissed me and whispered, "I feel that I lost you, Son. I miss you." My heart broke. I really wanted to cry. But I was trying so hard not to. I just smiled and hugged her. Then she continued, "Maybe it is because I am here. It will be okay if I'm in Klaten, you know, right?" I nodded, "Yes, maybe it is."

Last Saturday, my sister texted me telling me that my mom was sick. She could barely move because it was painful on her back. I thought it was because she was too tired. So I told her to rest. The next day, we went to the church together. We didn't have dinner because I had to go home and had dinner with my better half. I was going to watch a movie when my sister texted me again that she would take my mother to the hospital because she could not bare the pain.

I called her and my mom told me that she was okay that she just needed some painkillers. I tried to calm myself down. But when I told K about this, I didn't realize I cried. I. My worries had taken the best of me. I called her again and told her that I was going to the hospital too, but she said no. She convinced me that she was okay. I cried. I did cried. I guess I thought too far.

My K hugged me and told me that everything was gonna be just fine.

Half an hour later , I called my mom again. The doctor said that she was okay, she said. I was relieved. The next day, she went to a doctor again to make sure. And after some check-ups, it was found out that she had a minor calcification. But we should had no worry.

Thank God for keeping my mom healthy.

Mom, I love you so much. You are my angel.

In God We Trust

I used my own money to buy my apartment. And I also used installments. And though I have moved to a new company and have raised salary, there were times when I felt that I didn't have enough money left for living.

The saving I have now is only enough for installment and basic living cost. I did calculate everything, and there would be another expenses because we planned to go to Thailand next August and to Hongkong next October. 

It stressed me out. I used not to thinking when I was going to go abroad. I did have savings for that. The option was we had to cancell our Thailand journey though we had bought the flight tickets.

If you asked my better half, there would be times I grumbled and grouched about our financial problems. He might be so tired hearing me squawking. Lol. As you know I worried a lot.

But God had been so good. In His time, He fulfilled what we needed. It didn't happen only once. And now I am relieved. It is not much. But it is enough. 

His blessing ain't only financial. He helped me through our bad times in magical ways. So, I'm quoting Americans, In God We Trust. 

It sounds like I wrote about Christianity, but what I really wanna write is about how good He is. God is universal. You can refer God as "a greater power". 

Another Step

Hellowwww! *with high enthusiasm*

How's life? It must be good, ain't it?

As it for me, it is! Overwhelming though. Living together with someone you love is more than words can explain.

My mom asked me to have a dinner celebration for I had moved in to my new place. We planned to invite some people who were close to us. But then it was canceled and there was only my mom, my dad, my sister and I who had a simple lunch in my apartment.

Later in the afternoon, when my family had gone home, my better half came home after attending his nephew's 1st bday party. He came with his mom. Then he asked me to go with him to Karawaci along with his mom. And he also invited my mom. I was a bit frightened actually. My mom and his mom had never met before.

Then I realized that his mom was also confused. She was afraid she wouldn't know what to talk when my mom was around. But the reality was, they talked like old friends. Lol. It wasn't awkward at all, yeah maybe a little at the beginning.

I am thankful for this. I am thankful we have made this far. The furthest relationship I have ever had with a guy.

We have stepped another step forward. And may it lead to what we have been dreaming of. Having a family of our own. We keep dreaming. We keep making it real.

Today, I have a new dream, but I won't tell you guys. I hope it will make you curious. The clue is "having a family". Catcha later!!!

New Address

Whooohooo....

Finally!!! It's official now. Since last night, I and my better half have been occupying our new flat.

A new home means a lot of things to do. Cleaning the home is one thing. Well, it ain't that big a deal, but I'm thankful it's only 45 sqm. I'll hurt my back when mopping the floor if it's larger. LOL.

Living in an apartment is not as easy as living in a landed house. The regulation is tighter. Everytime we buy big things like sofa, beds and tv, we have to ask for a permission letter from the building management. It's somehow exhausting.

All the works, though it's not really finished, are worthed. They all were paid up by the moment I was going to bed and someone was hugging me from behind. There was a goodnight kiss from the man I love most. And most of all, this morning I woke up to him. It was amazing. And you know what, I'm going to experience those thingies every day and every night. Wow!!!!

But not just that, as I told you earlier, those amazing feelings come with price. There will be time when I disagree with his thoughts. But hey, that's the essence of living together, eh? We will learn how to agree to disagree.

Finally, I would like to thank everyone who somehow help us to make one of our dreams come true. Our parents, my sister and everyone... And my dearest, Jesus Christ. It's a blessing indeed.

One whisper from my better half that I can share with you : "Look, we are living our dream".

The Sofa

This is the last week of my employment here. Two weeks from now, I'll be effectively working for another bank. It is a blessing indeed. Time flies by. And it also means I and K will start a new life together soon.

I am all excited. Lately, we fought a lot though. There were many differences between us. Even for small things.

We did argue while choosing a set of dining utensils. Silly, eh? Not really. I will laugh my ass off everytime I remember.

But K always said, "These are colours in our life. They make our relationship beautiful, ain't it? When I fight you, it doesn't mean you are my enemy. I never see you as a contradiction of mine, I see our differences as colours."

I do believe his saying. I believe that this relationship is worth fighting for.

Then there was a sofa. We visited Informa at Living World, approximately 3 weeks ago. I did like a sofa that would fit our apartment. But K said it was too fat and narrow. While for me, the most important thing is, this sofa should fit our apartment. We didn't fight but we argue.

Last Thursday we went there again. And after spending more than 3 hours looking for sofa, console table, mirror and everything else, we came to an agreement to buy that very sofa. We sit there for a while.

This sofa was our witness when we argued. This sofa was a proof that we have our differences but we manage to have one decision. This sofa will be our witness as we start our new life. And this sofa might be with us for a long time.

And as this sofa, there will be a lot of things that will be our witnesses. May all of them record all the beauties of our relationship, through good and bad times.

A Place Called Home

Whooop Whooop....  A month had passed without any prints here. It was not because I didn't wanna write. I just waited and I didn't wanna jinx it. Jinx what exactly? Well, this is what I wanna tell you.

I remember a quote that says 'Home is where your heart lays'. It is true. And it is my dream to have a home where my heart is. And you know, my heart belongs to K. So, to make it happen, we have to live together, to live under one roof.

And as I had written before, we looked for an apartment. And VOILA, we've found it, a small one, 40 square meters, located in the center of Jakarta.

I never expected that this dream, our dream, would happen as soon as this. If I went back to couple months ago, I never imagined that I would fall in love again, fight for my dreams which was broken along with my ended relationship with my ex. Who would have thought that 7 months later, I would be standing here, looking at city lights from the 26th floor of The Boulevard, from our own balcony, holding my better half's hand while our mind is reaching our further dreams? Who would have thought, that shattered dream would come to reality, letting me deeply kiss and hug my K, on our bed, in our small yet lovely room?

It is beautiful. Beautiful it is. I am grateful because of this bunch of happiness. I thank God for every happiness that comes to us.

But lemme remind you, that happiness doesn't come for free. We do fight each other. We do have our differences, perspective, idealism, and paradigms. There are times when we feel tired. But the thing is, at the end of the day, we still need each other, we love and we committed to each other.

It is just a start. I do believe that there will be time when we fight. And I do believe that we can't eliminate our differences, they make us special. All we can do is accepting and widening our tolerance level. We are learning to be able to know when we have to argue, when we have to let go things. The point is we have to work it out.

And after all, K is someone I don't wanna live without. His heart is a place I call home.

PS. The Boulevard is located in area called Kampung Bali. I used to dream that someday I would live in Bali. Well, it is not Bali at all, but at least it's called Bali. I don't believe in coincidence. I do believe in God's sense of humor. LOL.