Wednesday, July 11, 2018


It's been a while I know. I was too busy doing things (yeah, right!)

The truth is, I don't know what to write, I can't write. I need more than 10 minutes writing this two lines. I closed my Safari tab, opened Instagram, .... oh gosh... even to continue this sentence, I have no idea. 

Then it got me thinking, maybe I just don't love writing. It won't come to me. Those f*cking ideas won't come to me.

Should I try harder? Or this is just not my cup of tea? But why did I write often back then?


Okay, let's try.
What do you wanna know?
K? K is fine. He's travelling abroad. Another business trip. To Istanbul. While I am sitting here, on my hard chair at the office, trying to write some sense. I sound pathetic, eh? LOL.

On a serious note, I'm thankful for what I have right now, for what and who I am right now. Relationship wise, it's been a lovely 5 years. On our fourth year, we dealt with something really serious. It didn't only involve tears, but also heartbreaks (yes, heartbreaks, plural, if I can count it). But it's in the past. We are good now, really good, I can even say we are better.

Feeling wise, though I am in much better condition, I am not on my best. Let's just say I've been better. Am I happy? Yes, for sure, most of the times, when I am thankful, like right now. I can't really wipe those off, you know. Yet. Sometimes I'm getting really paranoid, asking too much questions, overthinking everything. And in those times, K comes to the rescue. He will pull me in his arms, saying that everything's gonna be just fine. I think he does a lot of effort for the sake of our relationship. See, we are in better relationship.

Do I bore you?

So much for someone to look up to, eh? We are not those perfect couples afterall. What you saw were only our best versions. (Do I sound bitter? Am trying not to for I am not.)

How about the future?
I am mending my heart now (it's almost done, lol). And yes, I still believe in us. I wanna marry him someday. I still want a son (and/or a daughter), to be raised together. Hopefully, next year (or sooner), we will have a new business. Crossing fingers.

At this point, I am sure I bore you to death.
So I should stop now.
Do you wish you see more writings from me soon? That makes both of us.