Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Bday, K!

The title says it all, doesnt it?

It is my better half's bday. He is 27 now. He has reached so many things yet he has many things to reach in the future. His dreams and his passion are my inspiration. He has been loving me so sincerely and I can't thankful enough for that. 

Unfortunately, in this special day, we are miles apart. He has been in his business trip for 5 days. He is now in Istanbul, Turkey. It is his first birthday since we are together. It sucks somehow that we can't celebrate it together. But at least we know that we are celebrating it together in our hearts.

I wish nothing but all the best in this world for him for he is the best for me. I can't think of anyone better than him for me.

Have a blast dear. Have a wonderful birthday. 

I love you.

Monday, November 18, 2013

For I Am One

They say we don't choose to be gay, we were born this way. But for me it doesn't matter, because if I could choose, I would still choose to be one. 

For I am gay, I met and fell in love with you. 

For I am gay, I build my home with you.

For I am gay, I have the privilege to grow old with you. 

They are things I would choose over and over, even if we could turn back times.

I love you, K.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Are You Proud to be Gay?

I often read and hear "I am proud to be gay". I was okay at the beginning, it meant he accepted himself. But then my mind started questioning it. Why should he be proud?

According to Oxford Dictionary, these are the definition of proud:
1 feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.
2 having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance.

Which one of proud in a "proud to be gay" is? Gay is not an achievement nor possesion. We don't earn gay, since we roar here and there that we were born this way. It is exactly not a quality. Then it should be number two, having a high or exessively high opinion of oneself. This is weird, well at least for me.

To be clear, a proud gay can be defined as someone who thinks that he is better than others, whom are clearly not gay. It is contradictive to what we claim to believe. We have been fighting for equality rights for years, and yet we think we are better than them, the "normal" people. And "better" here is not because we achieve something, not because we earn to be gay, it is just because we have high opinion of ourselves. Pathetic, ain't it? How can we assure them if we believe in equality if we think we are better than them?

Let's imagine a different world. Imagine that gay was "normal", where everyone in this earth was gay. Then we realized that there were some people that were straight, which was not "normal". What do you think would happen, if we were proud gays? There would be straightophobic. We would be like them, whom are homophobic. We would be no different to them. 

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be proud of ourselves. Be proud, but for the right reason, for something that you earn.

When K read this, he added that "proud to be gay" may be used to encourage them who is still in the closet, so they wouldn't feel inferior and destroy their own mind because they are gay. 

Well for me, it is still misplaced. We can tell them "it's okay to be gay" instead of "you should be proud you are gay". Again, I'm not saying that they shouldn't respect themselves, but the misplaced words could lead them to misplaced thought and behaviour as well.

But then, it is just my opinion. Have a great day fellas!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Shield and Sword

I was at the office and had nothing to do. It's my office life. I can be so busy one time, but the other time, I could fall asleep for I have nothing to work on.

I was reading a blog,, when I was intriqued by a quote, which more or less was "when we are angry, our pride will form not only a shield to protect our ego but also a sword to defeat our enemy".

It is true. I couldn't agree more.

As you may know, my relationship with K isn't a smooth straight journey. It has its ups and downs. We have been trying our best to compromise, hence there are so much to deal with. Our fights frequency got more seldom day by day, but still we fight.

I'm not saying that a "normal" relationship is easier to maintain, but synchronizing two dickheads in a family is hard. We both, as men, have high pride and ego. I often find myself not being able to admit that I am wrong when I know I am, let alone to apologize. 

This so called high ego get the best of us when we are angry. We build a wall to protect our idea, our paradigms. And yet we launch missiles to attack our enemy. The thing is, in a relationship, it is our partner, instead of enemy. 

I'm not giving any advice for all I know I'm still strugling with my own pride. But again, later in his post, Alex, the owner of the blog I read, reminded me, "We're all losers when we wrapped in anger". I think I'll try to remember this sentence when I was mad. In the end of the day, though we kiss and make up after fight, we still hurt our partner's heart.

Monday, November 4, 2013

It (Ain't) a Bad Day


It's been quite some time for me not posting anything here, eh? I got no ideas, pretty much. Lol.

I'll go casual this time. I'm telling you about my time when we, K and I, visited Macau and Hong Kong. Let's begin...

We woke up that day, October 19 2013, at 4 am and got ready to catch our flight on 7.30 am. We had enough time for sure. After 2 hours flight to Kuala Lumpur, yes we had to make a transfer since we booked low cost flights, and 4 hours flight to Hong Kong, we found that Hong Kong International Airport was huge. It was my first time there though I had visited Hong Kong before.

According to plan, we would go straight to Macau by TurboJet. Passing the immigration we looked a signboard that pointed to the right if we liked to go to Macau. But we ignored it since we hadn't got our luggage. So we went out. After got our luggage, to make sure, we asked an officer there how to get to TurboJet. He said that we should go to Sheung Wan first by bus, it was a half and an hour journey. It made us confuse that we just saw the sign inside. The fact was we shouldn't go out, we should go as the signboard pointed. Somebody would got our luggage. Damn!!!!!

Having no other choice, we went to Sheung Wan. The bus costed us HKD 40 per pax. If you are planning to go to Disneyland, buy ticket at Disneyland store at Terminal 2, you'll get an umbrella if you buy 2 or more tickets.

Long story short, the bus ride wasn't bad at all, HK at night was beautiful, and we got to Macau about two hours after. The TurboJet costed us HKD 184 per pax, cheaper than if we went from the airport, it would cost us HKD 246. 

Last time I was in Macau, there would be some free shuttle buses, owned by casinos, outside the port, we could get on one of them and they would take us to their casino. I did that before and took a taxi to my hotel. But that night, there was only one bus, and I had no idea the location of the casino it was belong.

We thought about taking a taxi but we took a bus instead, it would be way cheaper. And it was, we paid HKD 3.2 each. Taxi would cost us HKD 40, I supposed.

The bus dropped us on a street we had no idea where. The map that the hotel gave us didn't help a lot. I don't speak Hong Kong and neither do my better half. Not many people in Macau speak English nor Chinese. When we studied map at the crossroad, an old man asked where we wanted to go. He was speaking Chinese. 

After some confusement, we finally found our way. The hotel itself wasn't easy to find. It was a guest house. We booked it because there wasn't no hotel that matched our budget available for that night. It was located on a 2nd storey of a building. We had to take our heavy luggage through a narrow stairway just to get to a receptionist, an old man who didn't speak English or Chinese. We managed to get to our room, well, it was hardly a room. *sigh*

The room was small. It had one "double" bed which was only 1.2 m wide, a sink, an old table and a cupboard, which when I opened my better half told me to shut it, afraid there would be something crawl out, and an old fan. Oh yes, there was a rope tied on the both side of the wall to hang your clothes. Did I say wall? It wasn't wall, it was more like divider between rooms. I could clearly hear the conversation in the next room. But the worst was about to come. It wasn't clean! I found the dust bin was full and some fluids came out of it, ewh! There were some blood stain on the bed sheet. 

"I don't know if I could sleep here," I shook my head toward K.
"Well, we'll leave early in the morning, dear," then he covered the sheet with the a blanket the guest house provides. I doubted the blanket was clean but at least we didn't notice any stain.

We cleaned ourselves and went out for dinner. It wasn't far from Senado Square. There were many people there, some were having chit chat, some were taking photos, and the others were just walking around. It was 9 pm. I loved it there. We spent about an hour there before we called it a night and headed back to hotel. It was a tiring day.

K fell asleep as soon as he hit the bed. I, on his side, found it hard to sleep. People next door were talking all night, slamming the door when they came and went out. And my body was rejecting that very room somehow. But then I fell asleep.

It really ain't a good day for us, spending almost 12 hours to get to that city, getting lost, sleeping in a dirty "hotel". But in the end of the day, it didn't matter. What matters was we were there, together, safe and sound, ready to spend the other 7 days, enjoying each other's company in a busy yet lovely countries.

I guess it is enough for one post. See you again "tomorrow". And, the hotel price was HKD 290. (Damn, I could get a way better budget hotel in Jakarta with that very price).