Maybe He's Not Right For You

Path is one of many social medias that I get myself into lately. Most of my path friends like to share quotes. It is mostly about love. It was fine, totally fine with me. I enjoyed every quotes until I realized something. It was about how people would change for his loved one. It was about what someone would do for his loved one. Each quote itself was not wrong. But I question the motivation behind posting those quotes. Instead of addressing ourselves, we address those quotes to others. Worse it satirized others. It is like we are saying that we are deserved to be treated as in those words. We forget that others also deserve to be treated the same way.

A friend of mine, C, was in 'love'. He was approached by a guy named L. He felt comfortable with his companion. It was lovely, ain't it? But there was this thing. This L guy ain't as serious as he said about relationship. Most of the times they spent apart, this guy failed to keep the communication between them. Either he didn't have his phone along with him or he was too busy with his job, so he said.

Once he was sorry, because C kept waiting. But the next days, it happened again, over and over. It was tiring for C. Then he asked L to change. He began to set rules between them. (I happened to read their texts.) 

L : "Thanks for waiting for me."

C : "As long as you know, I did wait you 'til you reached home. Don't spend those times having fun."

L : "It's nice for you to do this for me. But you shouldn't do this if it makes you uneasy. I've been trying and I am, but this is what I can do."

C : "I just want to communicate."

Sad, ain't it?

C told me that he didn't want to change L to be what he wanted him to be. But the truth was, he was expecting L to change. He said he understood him, but did he?

Then I remember a quote saying "If someone really loves you, he will understand you, no matter what". It's true right? The question is do we address this quote to our partner or to ourselves?

As I say many times before, as many people say these too, we can't change people. We can't expect people to change for us. They will learn to be better, but it takes time. It takes a lot of patience. Before we know our partner, he has lived in his way for maybe 20 years or so. It won't be easy to live in a different habit in a matter of clicking fingers. 

All we have to do is accepting. 

For C, and for everyone else who is close to anyone and wish the situation would be different, it is time for you to ask yourself. 

Do you understand him? 
If you don't, will you try? 
Will you consider to accept him for what he is? 
He can change, but again, it takes time, and there's no guarantee the time will come. 
If you can't accept him, maybe he's not right for you. Don't push it too hard.

Love is not only about me, it is about us.

Love is not about demanding, it is about giving.

Love is not about expecting someone to change, its is about accepting who he really is.

Love is not about finding who is right nor wrong, it is about walking together reaching our dreams.