Segen and Boden - Part 2

Boden

I wanted it more.

I craved for more.

The sex, the power, the domination. More.

I didn't get it with Segen. It was another cold sex with him. Indifferent, unexcited, dull, frigid. Sometimes it was okay, but still unpassionate. And I couldn't stand the boredom. I knew he tried hard after I told him I wanted to end this, but I didn't think that was enough. I wanted something more. I wanted Offen.

I told Segen that my office partners asked me to go with them for the weekend out of town, Offen's town.  He wasn't happy as always. But I wanted to go. The hell with him.

...

"I want you, Boe" said Offen, after, again, a superb sex.

"How much?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Would you leave your wife?"

"I don't know, would you?"

...

My relationship got better with Segen, I was touched with his willingness to change. But my relationship with Offen also grew. I felt guilty. To both of them. I didn't tell Offen that I wasn't married. I wanted out. But this power overcame my sanity, I guessed.

...

Segen was out of town on June, I invited Offen to our house.

"You are not married?"

"No. I am in relationship with him," I pointed my picture with Segen on the living room.

"How long?"

"4 years, I think."

"Okay."

Silence.

"I will leave him for you." I didn't know why I said that. "I will tell the whole world that you are mine."

"Stop it," Offen kissed me. 

"I don't feel the same when I'm with him," I mumbled in his lips.

I asked myself what I had done. I was confused, but I just couldn't let go. 

Segen

"Did you go with someone for dinner?" I asked Boden that Thursday. I was out of town for 4 days.

"No, I went alone, why?"

"Nothing. You just sent me the bill, and it was recorded for two paxs."

"Oh, no, I went alone. I didn't know 'bout that."

...

"I finished all the ice cream! Was so good."

"The whole pint? In one day? By yourself?" 

...

I was suspicous with what Boden did that weekend. I asked him all the details and he got mad. I thought I was too paranoid.

Other than that, I felt better everyday. I felt that Boden loved me more. My hope got restored, that I could be with him for the rest of my life. My love for him grew. As I told you, it was a wake up call for me.

Boden had to go again for another weekend in the middle of June. I wanted to come, but he said that he would share the room with his office partner. So I stayed home. I spent my weekend browsing for our next vacation. It would be a refreshing for us. We both needed it.

...

It was July 3rd. My stomach was upset after our trip. I was on my way to get medicine when Boden's phone beeped. "Who texted him this late?"

Curious, I looked at his phone. 

"I love you". 

Offen. 

My heart beat fast. My hands trembled. I recognized the name. I once asked Boden who this guy was, and he said he was a friend of a friend that he met when he was out of town. I was scared.

I woke Boden up. My stomach got worse, but my heart felt even worse. I asked him the truth, I asked him what had happened so this Offen guy said those words.

"It was just a fling, we only texted once a while. And yes we flirt now and then. I am sorry. I shouldn't do that to you."

"You didn't see him? You guys only text?"

"Yes."

"But still you cheated."

"I know. I'm sorry."

I cried again that night. And the next night. It was like what I did was useless. Boden hugged me, told me that he was sorry, that he wanted to be with me. But I was too broken. Even it was just text, even Boden told me that they never had sex. But it broke me, still.