The Journey Continued

Though our relationship got stronger each day after that Christmas eve and I cared about him a lot, there were times I doubt that he shared mutual feeling toward me. Those were the times I felt fragile, I felt inferior. I didn't trust what he felt. I led myself to doubts.

Something pulled me, something dragged me not to go for him. It was my fear. Fear that I would be broken once again. I cried couple times when he did not do something I wanted him to do. It broke my heart when he seemed not willing to do simple things for me. I went too far. I demanded a lot.

But then I realized, it shouldn't be like that. I deserved to love. I deserved to feel happy again, not that I am saying I wasn't happy, but you know, like I said, my fear warned me not to fall into deep. And more, he deserved to be happy.

Then I started to really open up to him. His charm possessed me. His beauty enchanted me. My feeling grew faster than I realized.

Last year my family finally accepted me as a gay. And his family did too. It made things a little bit easier for us, I supposed. We talked about marriage, having kids, moving out to Bali. I planned to live in Bali months before, and having this plan with him was so amazing. Beyond words. Sharing these dreams strengthened my hope to be with him.

And then there was this financial problem. His. Not that it reduced the affection I had for him, it just made me under stressful condition. But thank God, we were able to solve it. Not really solve it, even by this time, but at least, we were heading to it. We are still working on it. Hard. Hopefully, we will be able to manage this financial issue.

Days went by days. We grew to each other. We were trusting each other. I knew my days will be filled with his presence. And so did his.